After experiencing past-life visions, I felt compelled to put pen to paper. The resulting book, On the Other side. Memories of a Past Life, was written to make me feel better, and I considered it as a private diary, one I often opened out of shyness. Reading it made me feel ransacked, and it was difficult for me to deal with the emotions that were surfacing and recalling. I wanted it in the past. The past appeared more familiar to me than the reality of my daily life. It was a haven, a back door through which I could escape when I was emotional. Healing from the past has taken a long time, beginning with a deep awareness of myself and ending with the determination not to look back.
But before I could recuperate, I spent some time looking for evidence of the existence of Ani Mendez and Richard Gunther. Apart from the historical background I could find, there was no hard proof of their existence. I wanted to find their name, a birth date, a burial, a house, anything that would confirm to me without a doubt that I had existed in this manner.
I contacted the Cuban administrative system to prove Ani’s existence and obtain possible supporting documentation. In Cuba, I bumped up against the bureaucracy of an undigitized, conservative, and sceptical state. I wanted to go back and conduct my own inquiry in the areas where I knew I had lived.
Meanwhile, in Britain, I was hunting for evidence of Richard’s presence. I found some data, but it was not as exact as the information I needed, based on what I saw. Furthermore, the investigator requested more information about his family of origin, but what I had gleaned from his background was insufficient for an investigation. I halted the research when it became too expensive. I wasn’t even sure whether Richard had been buried in England, rather than in the United States, where he had committed suicide.
Weary, I was sick of looking for them and myself. In desperation, I imagined finding proof, perhaps a grave where I might stand. A grave I may have touched. I wondered what I would have done in front of a tombstone other than cry and feel more linked to a past I couldn’t change. My soul’s restoration began at that moment. The resignation came first, followed by reconciliation. I chose to move on and respect the past as it was for me. I had existed, and I was aware that it was unnecessary to prove anything to the world.
I didn’t initially want the past made public. Richard (Rico) and Ani were inside me, and it was a sacred space. But I decided to revisit the past and make it public after realizing how much confusion, fear, and even shame people feel when they share their stories concerning probable past incarnations. It remains a taboo that is coldly received, scientifically analysed, or occasionally disregarded until its extinction.
I wish I could instil courage and optimism in all those who remember, who feel lost in their current lives, and who need a healing story.
